linda houser gives you her list of the best players in major-league baseball who happen to play first base. and perhaps those who don't.
your thoughts are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, November 14, 2003
there's no way to link this to baseball, except that the a's play at the football stadium i'll be at sunday, so we'll just call this: top 10 similarities between vikings fans and raiders fans -- or: top 10 reasons raiders fans should not kill vikings fans who come to the oakland coliseum.
1. well, like i just mentioned, we play football in what is largely considered a crappy baseball stadium, and they play football in what is widely known as a crappy baseball stadium. can't we all just celebrate what we have in common, instead of our differences?
2. our fans wear funny outfits like medieval gladiators, while their fans wear funny outfits like medieval gladiators. maybe they go more toward the pirates and skulls motif, and we identify more with the pillagers in horns and furs. but we all carry swords in our beefy arms, and we all stand for the great unwashed masses. though i would stress that, while real vikings and raiders were basically a violent bunch, it would be nice to leave the violence on the field and not in the stands.
3. fans gone amok: we had the goofball who called himself the "grand viking" and tried to set some packers fans on fire. they had the goofball who was robbing banks so he could go to the raiders' games. i am hoping that this tally remains even and nobody (me especially) gets hurt sunday.
4. players gone amok: we had the goofball who wandered off from training camp, back when we didn't really investigate our first-round draft picks. they more recently had the goofball who wandered off to mexico when he should have been at super bowl practice. although nothing against dimitrius underwood or barret robbins personally. god bless em, they've got names nobody can spell plus bipolar disorder, and that's no fun in the nfl.
5. speaking of super bowls, the raiders have us beat no matter how you figure - appearances (they have 5, we have 4), wins (they have 3, we have 0), head to head (luckily at age 5 for super bowl xi, i was unaware that my state's pride and joy was handing oakland its first lombardi trophy).
6. owners gone amok: we have the goofball who calls it "humiliating" to lose one close game after going undefeated for six to open the season. they have the goofball who sues at every opportunity. and both of them are on record with the hometown fans that they'd leave in a heartbeat for approximately a $5 profit. Thanks Red. Thanks Al. Why don't you just swap teams and pipe down?
7. we had rich gannon when he was young and didn't play, and they have rich gannon now that he's old and doesn't play.
8. they have jerry rice, the greatest receiver of all time. we have randy moss, one of a handful of kids who have a shot at breaking some of those records.
9. they have zack crockett, a running back who happens to be the brother of henri crockett, who supposedly plays linebacker for us. not that we can stop the run, so that should be a fun little reunion to watch. although: the raiders too will give up some yards.
10. you still see raiders fans wearing the sweatshirts and lining up outside the parking lots the night before the game. even though their season has been tremendously awful, the fans still believe maybe they can win. and they still love them - much like me and my vikings. i remember being home last winter, driving up north with my sister and listening to a.m. radio, just desperate for us to beat the lions so we could go into the offseason on a three-game winning streak (despite finishing 6-10 overall).
so off i go, confident in my survival chances, knowing that basically we're all just fans of the greatest game ever. what a sad world it would be if a team can't sell its tickets to its own fans, but they don't welcome the opposing fans either.
posted by linda 11:58 PM 
Friday, August 23, 2002
just in case these idiots go on strike, let's get together one last fabulous all first base team. just for fun, let's have a guy at each position like they do in games:
1. first base: doug mientkiewicz. he's the cutest, he's the best player, and if they don't have a strike you know the twins have a more than solid shot at the world series.
2. pitcher: barry zito: see above, and he seems like a smart kid so hopefully as the a's union rep he can help baseball hang onto fans like me.
3. it's tough to pick a second baseman when your team has always been composed only of first basemen and pitchers but: mark ellis. he's a good-looking kid, though runty like the a's second basemen always are, and he makes the good plays enough so that ray durham chills in the dugout.
4. shortstop (yes it does break my green and yellow heart not to say miggy here, but): derek jeter. i know it goes against everything i stand for to put a yankee on the squad, but he's such a nice kid. he's got his whole damn midwestern family working on his foundation to help kids, and obviously he's a great player or my team would have some of his world series rings.
5. third base (just to show we're aware of the other league out there): scott rolen. i like the kids who hate their coach but still play well, then get traded and come back and kick the old team's ass.
6. catcher: ivan rodriguez. we like the big beefy sluggers better than the possibly gay guys from new york. plus this team needs a latin guy if it's going to succeed.
7. left field: ichiro. yes it pains me to have him on here, and i hope he can play left field because i got better guys in center and in right.
8. center field: torii hunter. love him love him love him. love him.
9. right field: barry bonds. i have heard that he showed up for the team picture this year. and: he let a chronicle photographer take pictures of him at home. so we'll take the living legend.
posted by linda 5:51 PM 
Tuesday, June 25, 2002
all first base, world cup addendum:
tony sanneh! the star of the game against germany (besides landon donovan, who is funny looking and plus is confusing because i have a bobblehead of him from the san jose earthquakes and the bobblehead is blond. so who is this imposter with brown hair?). he runs around, he's totally cute and i've just discovered the added bonus: he's from minnesota. so step aside, brian mcbride.
posted by linda 8:07 PM 
Sunday, June 16, 2002
before i even start, can i just say it's vic that pointed out no. 10 on team italy to me (very tricky how he hooks me into this deadly boring sport), so is it really wrong to agree that totti is a hotti? so let's be clear - my eyes were told to wander!
all first base, world cup 2002 division:
1. zinedine zidane, france: nostalgia pick, because you know until i married a man who stays up until 1:30 a.m. to watch the first game and then gets up at 4:30 a.m. to watch the second game, the first i ever heard of soccer was the rabid ravings about this guy when i was studying in france 10 years ago. and that was two years before the tournament in 1994. sadly though, looks like he's too old to carry his team anymore. i hope the french people don't kill him for not advancing - he is a new father after all.
2. lopez, argentina: sorry to not know his first name, but he's the kid who almost scored about five times in their last game. plus he's cute - that's why he's really on the last. plus for the heritage of my new husband.
3. robby keane, ireland: i like that little clip they keep showing of him doing the handsprings after the big goal. he's like a little leprechaun! plus he's cute.
4. michael owen, england: it's completely beyond me why the british and the world are crazy for david beckham and his awful hairdo - michael owen is much cuter, and not like i know anything about soccer, but he seems to be a better player too.
5. the japanese guy with the tall bleached hair: sorry to not know his name. he's here because he's got the statement hair like becks but it doesn't make him look like a complete idiot.
6. there's a blond guy from spain. who knew they had them there? plus he's cute.
7. sweden: yes, all of them. they're all cute, and they all seem to run around a lot. especially the crafty little dark-haired one with the croatian name. plus jon-doll tomasson, denmark: i have no idea if i have the name right, but he's the guy who scored a bunch of goals for the other team of vikings. and he's cute.
8. brian mcbride, u.s.: it would be unpatriotic to not pick someone from my own country. plus he's cute. and fast.
9. italy: all of them too. they're all cute - more so when they're running around. not so hunky when they first come out of the locker room. and of course not so hunky when they go back in - losers.
10. bonus pick, the goalie from poland: it's a rare man who can use a headband to hold back his flowing locks and still look masculine. he's cute.
posted by linda 8:13 PM 
Friday, June 14, 2002
top 10 wedding tips, in hindsight (i know 9 won't be enough, so is it really all first base?):
1. if you want to take all four of your bridesmaids for manicures, you need to make an appointment. and you can't call for this kind of appointment on the same day. in fact, you would be lucky to get your own manicure done at the last minute. (in fact i believe the color of my nails was: lucky lilac)
2. if you have a friend or colleague provide a service, get a contract just like you would for a normal professional. otherwise it's a crap shoot - for example, your cake might be fabulous and the bill for it might be fair even if you didn't have a quote before the big show; but your photographer for example might end up leaving before you've thrown your bouquet.
3. particularly if you're the last in the family to get married and the last wedding was 10 years ago, remind your father that he's supposed to give the next toast after the best man. or if he doesn't want to, at least you'll know that before the brief but uncomfortable silent time at the reception.
4. if you need to do shots to sing karaoke, maybe you shouldn't have a karaoke outing after the rehearsal dinner. especially one that comes to be billed as a "karaoke drunk fest." this could, hypothetically of course, lead to mysteriously broken cameras, mysteriously bloody toes and mysteriously queasy morning stomachs. though on the bright side: at least you won't want to get liquored up the next day.
5. well sure you've left some things until the last minute. but if you've bought your girls matching earrings and hidden them inside little purses, they might not notice them there if you scamper off before you can watch them open their gift.
6. and speaking of the last minute - it's not the very best time to delegate things. some people of course have talented and saintly friends who can rise to the occasion, but maybe even they would like a little bit of notice about the help you need. just an idea.
7. if you're going to put kids in charge of the guest book, even if they are smart little 10-year-olds, they could use a little instruction if you're doing something crazy like trying to get one guest on each page of a little photo album you intend to put snapshots of everybody in later.
8. if you're going to put kids in charge of putting little boxes of chocolate at every place setting, make sure they're not kids that really like chocolate personally.
9. if you're going to give a little tomboy kid $20 to wear a dress, don't give up the cash until she's been good all weekend.
10. you know, people could be taking pictures all weekend. would it kill you to fix your hair?
11. don't forget to tell the out-of-towners how to get out of town. for example, that they want the lindbergh terminal. i wonder why minneapolis-st. paul international doesn't have the good sense to put up some highway signs and tell people that the glumac terminal is not the one they want - especially on memorial day, since you have to go by the cemetery to get back to the right place.
posted by linda 11:55 PM 
Saturday, November 17, 2001
isn't that just typical - you get a little web site, finally, play with it every day for a week or two and then forget all about it. when will i grow up?
all first base, movies division:
1. "pulp fiction" - to this day, the only movie i have actually paid money for on videotape. although: i don't really believe in owning videos anymore.
2. "buffalo 66" - this was on cable recently, and i remembered that i had liked it but as usual couldn't remember many specific details. but what a great movie! which is why i'll be leaving more spots open for the ones i've forgotten.
3. "clueless" - i do love the movies with the blondes as heroines. so rare, though, i could never think of 9 of them to give them their own list.
4. "star wars" - i remember as a youngster, this could be the first movie i ever went to. then when it came on hbo, we taped it and tried to memorize key bits of dialogue.
5. "pee wee's big adventure" - i remember as a teenager, i could not wait for this movie to come out. either that or i really loved it when it did, because i recall naming the fetal pig i was dissecting pee wee. think i was in 10th grade.
6. "the breakfast club" - barely edges the other high school movies. whatever happened to john hughes? whatever happened to molly ringwald?
7. "gladiator" - gosh, now that i've seen it, i'd like to revise my bet on that whole "best picture" thing. at the time, i thought "traffic" was pretty good.
8. "the usual suspects" - i might have to rent it so i can decide for sure if this or "american beauty" is really the best of the kevin spacey movies.
9. "l.a. confidential" - definitely the best of the guy pearce movies - that "memento" thing was like a job, making you think all the time and even after it was over. i'll take the just plain entertainment, but just by a hair.
10. "the sixth sense" - you know how the all first base team has a lot of pitchers? i think it could have an endlessly growing list of movies. like who can pick, for a movie with a cute kid, between this and
11. "e.t." - the best of the spielbergs, you know before he got all full of himself.
12. "the manchurian candidate" - finally saw this one and you know what else is funny - the newspaper where they talk about the murders has a smaller headline teasing to an inside story (i notice these things because i'm an editor) and it says something about 20 dead as hurricane hits midwest. (i notice because i'm from there: we don't have hurricanes.)
posted by linda 10:36 PM 
Thursday, August 09, 2001
whew! what a whirlwind. let's never again visit minnesota in august. but i do like that new product to stop the bug bites from itching. anyway, i'm back now.
all first base, basketball division:
1. kevin garnett -- quite possibly the greatest kid in all the sports. loyal to his team, always trying to improve his game (even his non-game game), and -- this just in from my writer friend -- a great guy with what looks to be a great new fashion line coming out soon.
2. allen iverson -- i think he is about as tall as me, but he just does not give up. did you know he was held together in the playoffs by rubber bands and duct tape? we also like that he's getting married to his high school sweetheart.
3. dikembe mutombo -- we like how he speaks all the languages. also we like that bit when shaq was complaining about getting fouled a lot, and he says in his cool voice: do i go to press conference and talk about my busted lip?
4. vince carter -- he dunks pretty good, plus we like all the guys who stick with teams in the frozen northland even after they get really good.
5. sam jacobson -- a good minnesota kid who had the tremendous luck to play for both the lakers, who used to be from minnesota, and the timberwolves, who one day will beat the lakers and win the championship.
6. vin baker -- one time, i went to a wolves-bucks game at the metrodome (and got in trouble at work since my date was a friend of a co-worker who told everyone i was indeed not sick). anyway, my guys i knew, but the impressive stranger: vin baker.
7. terrell brandon -- i remember reading a nice story about his mom. i like the kids who are good to their moms. all we need is some kind of training program to ward off injuries, and we will get to the second round.
8. grant hill -- should actually be higher, but i forgot about him because he was hurt last year. i love that story about him not going to whatever college because they thought he was just a dumb ballplayer.
9. chris webber -- would not make this team if he wasn't still a king.
posted by linda 11:42 PM 
Thursday, August 02, 2001
never getting to first base, let's get back to athletes division:
1. stephon marbury -- greedy little bastard. didn't like the fact that he couldn't make as much money as kevin garnett, so he refuses to play on the same team. ignoring the fact he's not half the player, or person, kg is. did he make the nets better? not so much.
2. mark chmura -- ewwww. the only reason he's not in jail is because he can afford an expensive lawyer, and because the idiot people of wisconsin on the jury love their team more than they love their children.
3. mark chmura's wife -- ewwww. she finds out he's a pig and dumps him....then takes him back just because a verdict from the idiot people of wisconsin. maybe if she'd married for love instead of money, her husband wouldn't sleep with the kids next door.
4. gary suter -- though he plays for the sharks, who we enjoy in general, we hate him because as a blackhawk he cross-checked paul kariya and gave him a concussion that kept him out of the olympics in japan.
5. bryan marchment -- same theme. the sharks should trade this goon before he tears up someone else's knee. you'll remember the year he knocked modano out for weeks, then nieuwendyk for the playoffs. and those are my two favorite north stars centers.
6. dodger boy -- i don't even remember his name. you know, the crybaby g.m. for the dodgers who picked a fight with a fan in the stands, then tried to blame the media when he got fired.
7. lawrence phillips -- we don't like the ones who abuse their girlfriends, and we especially don't like the ones who don't ever seem to think they have a problem.
8. todd steussie -- a., he's no longer a viking. b., when he was a viking, he accounted for approximately 1 million yards in false-start penalties. c. rumor has it that, when at cal, he was not nice to the sportswriters.
9. joe smith -- we're still a little pissed about that no-draft-picks-for-five-years thing, but we are heartened that he at least has the loyalty to sign with the timberwolves after the debacle. could be replaced on the list soon.
posted by linda 9:30 PM 
Wednesday, August 01, 2001
never getting to first base, people's annoying habits division:
1. not washing hands in the restroom -- ok, i see you in the ladies room and you go into the stall, do your business and then leave without visiting the sink? forget about even talking to me, much less picking up the bat for the all first base team.
2. walking slowly and in enormous groups -- what are you, fanning out to search for chandra levy? i don't think she's on the sidewalks of downtown san francisco, not that you idiots would notice anyway, so please get the hell out of my way.
3. interrupting the at-bat -- they do this more in oakland, maybe because in san francisco they have signs up and ushers who sometimes are on the lookout -- the guy who comes in without waiting for a break, so you see his big melon instead of the action.
4. leaving your computers on during the energy crisis -- i like how the paper i work for, which shall go unnamed, sometimes prints articles about the importance of conservation. yet only about 10 percent of folks here actually turn off their computer at night.
5. movie talkers -- my personal rule is, short comments during the previews are fine. quick questions if you miss a bit of the movie are fine. anything else...let me introduce my mr. elbow to your mr. rib.
6. leaving hairballs in the shower at the gym -- i haven't seen any bald women in the locker room, so i really wonder where all this hair is coming from -- and of course, whose job you think it is to pick it up for you.
7. wearing skimpy tank tops at the gym when you are abnormally hairy -- i wonder if we can call security about this guy. or maybe the zoo.
8. getting on the bart train before letting the other people get off -- clearly these are the guys with bmw's who cut in front of everyone in traffic. glad to see someone crashed into you.
9. being ignorant of flag etiquette -- swear to god, i'm on a casino cruise in miami, it's the fourth of july, they get to international waters and the guy takes down the flag, lets it hit the floor and then steps on it a little bit. can we train the workers please?
posted by linda 9:27 PM 
Tuesday, July 31, 2001
too busy to blog there for a minute -- i hate when they make me come in to work early. unless it's for a whole week like right now and i get to meet interesting new people and do fun new things. anyway...
all first base, speaking of hollywood let's talk about actors division:
1. johnny depp -- i like how he seems to have settled down and stopped causing trouble. plus he's awfully handsome and a fine actor in a variety of roles.
2. ben affleck -- used to be no. 1, but it turns out he's this big clinton supporter who doesn't bother to vote himself. i don't care how many great ideas you have with matt damon, you live in america you vote.
3. josh hartnett -- who cares that i haven't seen his movies? i'm pulling a ben affleck here and saying he's good -- i've seen the pictures and i know he grew up in minnesota so he gets my endorsement.
4. chow yun fat -- what particularly impresses us here is that his fans don't want him playing a bad guy, so he won't take those kinds of roles. clearly he's got to be a good guy in real life too.
5. taye diggs -- very handsome, plus an excellent comedic touch. it almost makes me wish i watched tv, so i could see him on "ally mcbeal."
6. paul newman -- he's our favorite of the old-time guys, because he's always had that roguish charm and the twinkling blue eyes. which is why he ages so much better than clint eastwood.
7. vince vaughn -- we saw him on craig kilborn's show one night, and he was on for three segments! like they went to commercial two times and came back to him. plus he gets into fights, cool for a movie star.
8. brendan fraser -- we used to think he was real hunky, but then we had to suffer through a bunch of his movies. magazine articles imply he's smarter than the characters he plays, which reminds me
9. keanu reeves -- i thought he was very cute in "sweet november." plus you hear a lot of charming stories of him tooling around filming "matrix 2" and being nice to waitresses, etc.
posted by linda 6:09 PM 
Thursday, July 26, 2001
all first base, hollywood movies division:
1. "bull durham" -- i like the part where kevin costner paints susan sarandon's toenails. in fact, it's the only part i remember. i have an awful memory, especially for movies. unlike boys -- why do they remember every detail about movies and sports?
2. "field of dreams" -- i like the part with shoeless joe. also, amazing minnesota fact: blue moon odom was from chisholm, minnesota, which is of course a town i have been to.
3. "eight men out" -- is this the one where i like the part with shoeless joe? and isn't it ray liotta? what ever happened to ray liotta's career anyway?
4. "major league" -- so this kid throws hard but he's wild. someone checks his eyes and gets him some glasses, and suddenly he's the greatest ever. what ever happened to charlie sheen's career anyway?
5. "major league 2" -- i remember absolutely none of it, and it's not only because my cool co-workers and i smuggled beer into the movie theater in duluth. which is pretty fun.
6. "bang the drum slowly" -- an antique, but i just saw it on cable. it made me cry, but so does any movie. also makes you wonder, what if someone started being nice to ramon hernandez -- would he suddenly blossom into a good catcher? worth a try maybe.
7. "61*" -- the guy who played mickey mantle was very cute, which is important if you're playing mickey mantle. and the maris was very convincing, the story very authentic. why not release it on the big screen, billy crystal?
8. "for the love of the game" -- i haven't actually seen it yet, but i'm sure i'll rent it eventually. also campaigning for a law that kevin costner should be banned from movies that are not about baseball.
9. "the slugger's wife" -- just kidding! i saw the beginning of this on cable and could not understand what exactly made alleged nightclub singer rebecca demornay so allegedly cute to the alleged ballplayer. features the worst pop songs i've seen lately.
posted by linda 9:35 PM 
Sunday, July 22, 2001
all first base, promotions division:
1. bobbleheads -- right now we have two giambis and a mays. we are working on a deal to trade one giambi for a killebrew or carew of the minnesota bobbleheads.
2. snow globes -- innovative. does any other place do it, or just the oakland coliseum? maybe other teams aren't quite so desperate to get their fans.
3. gym bags -- useful. the a's gym bag was supposed to be sponsored by the contra costa times, but they withdrew because knight ridder wanted all the money sent to corporate hq for executive bonuses. please buy kragen auto parts.
4. magnet schedules -- a perennial favorite, both useful and cheap. so they can afford to give away 40,000 plus with money left over for rally flags!
5. stomper easter bunny! -- i can't believe i missed this one. i think i had to work...i should totally get some sort of prize for not calling in sick that day.
6. jason giambi mvp t-shirts -- admission: these are only supposed to be for kids, but a friend of mine was covering the game for the oakland tribune, and he hooked me up. plus they never had cool stuff like that when i was young.
7. dog day -- at pac bell park, they have a day where they let you bring your dog. not that i've been there -- you can't have dogs in our apartment building. if i had one, it would maybe be a viszla.
8. matchbox cars -- haven't seen them yet, but i'll definitely be setting both of the alarm clocks that day, and that goes double for
9. fujifilm player photo day -- good thing we're back in contention, or it would be me and my girlfriends smiling with scrawny adam piatt, if he's even back from his viral meningitis then. jasons better be there, or i will sue.
posted by linda 11:42 PM 
Saturday, July 21, 2001
all first base team, retired and not necessarily first basemen division:
1. roger maris -- nervous under pressure just like me (i chew my hair, whereas he lost a bunch of his), plus a midwesterner. unable to confirm reports from my alameda dentist that he lived for a time in hibbing, minn. a travesty he's not in the hall of fame.
2. harmon killebrew -- it's time to disclose the fact that i know very little about the old-timers. this guy is my favorite old twin because of (a) the cool name and (2) he has a street named after him that leads to the mall of america.
3. hank aaron -- actually should probably be no. 1, but i'm not going back. first he endures all the hate of a stupid racist america when he breaks babe ruth's record. then he works all those years for the brewers.
4. mickey mantle -- we like him because he's cute. also because he used his connections to get himself a new liver when his own broke down. plus was pals w/ roger maris.
5. george brett -- we like him because he's cute.
6. nolan ryan -- we like him because he's cute. i think if my sister had a boy instead of a girl, he'd have been named nolan.
7. pete rose -- our policy is: gambling is not a crime. betting on your own team shouldn't be a crime. and betting on games you're not involved in only shows a deep knowledge of and interest in the sport. a travesty he's not in the hall of fame.
8. willie mccovey -- lives in our kitchen in the form of a bobblehead. rumor had it the man himself thought the butt of the doll was too big. whatever. also signed a poster for my friend when vic was a boy and waited three hours for him to leave the locker room.
9. ted williams -- we like him because he was cute, back in the day.
posted by linda 9:56 PM 
Friday, July 20, 2001
all first base team, coaches division:
1-2 (tie). art howe and tom kelly -- they're like the same guy, except I don't need to tell tk to wear more sunscreen, because he plays the home games at the dome. both turn minimum-wage kids into fine ballplayers.
3. flip saunders -- i can't think of any other likable baseball guys, but i do love flip saunders and how he didn't desert the timberwolves when he could have. plus i saw his little nephews once at a warriors game. they seemed bored.
4. bill cowher -- remember that one time when he chased that referee and stuffed the instant-replay printout into his shirt pocket? that was the greatest moment in coaching. at least for the fan who watches on tv.
5. steve mariucci -- once i went to the 49ers beat writers' dinner; my fiance covers the team. this guy mooch is not only funny and handsome, but he knew i was from minnesota after i said about three words. his sister also went to school in duluth.
6. jon gruden -- i don't think he looks like a chucky doll, but i don't think he's top 50 people magazine material either. he's all first base because he never sleeps. plus the raiders had no heart before he got here.
7. larry brown -- did you read that story in sports illustrated? about how he and allen iverson didn't get along, but then they had a meeting and their moms are very similar. very touching. plus the reaching out, working together, making the playoffs, etc.
8. jacques lemaire -- because i can't very well say ken hitchcock when he doesn't want to keep brett hull on the stars, can i? plus did you know that the wild, an expansion team, were better last year than the mighty ducks, who have paul kariya?
9. glen mason -- because i can't very well say dennis green when he treats the media, especially the print media, horribly and encourages his players to do the same. plus the gophers are pretty good.
posted by linda 10:59 PM 
Thursday, July 19, 2001
all first base team, pitchers division:
1. barry zito -- a quirky guy (i'm sure you've read the stories about his pink satin pillowcases). but he does what he wants to and doesn't seem to care what people think of it, which is tremendous. plus shows the socks like the old-timers.
2. brad radke -- my little bradke. we like him a lot for sticking with us when he could have gone to other teams. we also like him a lot better when he doesn't have the goatee (oh yes. facial hair kept teammate joe mays off the squad.)
3. mike hampton -- we like this guy because his signing with the rockies (along with the a's signing john damon) proved me to be a pretty fine psychic sometimes. also we love to see the home runs, and he's a pitcher who can hit them.
4. randy johnson -- legend has it that one time, at least, when he was in minnesota for a game, he drove up to duluth to visit the grave of his father or grandfather or stepfather or some important guy in his life. which is a 2.5-hour drive we can respect.
5. c.c. sabathia -- i looked up his mug shot because he's from around here (vallejo, ca.) and because he's going to be the rookie of the year. number one, he's enormous! number two, he's pretty dang cute and with a nice smile.
6. livan hernandez -- you know, i had smarter sisters ahead of me in school too. it's hard enough to live up to marcia and angela, and they don't even have scary nicknames like el duque.
7. tim hudson -- obviously he's good-looking and can throw the ball, but the reason he's here instead of mark mulder: one time my fiance saw him in the barnes&noble in jack london square. this implies he can read. we salute that.
8. eric milton -- we don't know that much about him, but we thought it would be unfair to have two from the a's and only one from the twins.
9. jason isringhausen -- do not tell his wife, but i would swear that sometimes when i wear my green and yellow sundress to the game, he turns around to look at me.
10. andy pettitte -- we don't generally enjoy the yankees, but this one does public service announcements for god, which is endearingly geeky.
posted by linda 10:42 PM 
Wednesday, July 18, 2001
all first base team, july 18, 2001:
1. Doug Mientkiewicz -- twice as good as that alleged all-star from seattle, but doesn't have the good fortune to play with ichiro and his team of ballot-box stuffers.
2. Ryan Klesko -- spotted him in left field years ago at wrigley field. we were excited when he changed positions and became eligible for the squad.
3. Sean Casey -- the first time i saw him on tv, he was totally cute. then followed a rash of unflattering tv bits and print media photographs. but we're sticking with him because he's a nice, friendly kid.
4. Andres Galarraga -- he's a big cat, what more can you say? cool nicknames can get you onto the all first base -- and didn't he come back from cancer too?
5. Mark McGwire -- rumor has it that when he hit those 70 home runs, it was because he heard i was rooting for him and i was born in 1970.
6. Mike Sweeney -- we like this kid because he has a good ballplayer name, and he hits home runs even though nobody ever watches him.
7. J.T. Snow -- some girls around here think he's handsome. whatever. i'm just saying: he works in the same town as me, he gives time and money to charity, he makes some nice plays.
8. Todd Helton -- i don't know that much about him, but he does play for my preseason pick to represent the nl in the world series. ha! plus he is pals with larry walker.
9. Jason Giambi -- just waiting for robin jennings to get back to the big leagues so i can kick his ungrateful ass off the squad. especially rankling is that he uses the excuse of not wanting to leave to facilitate his exit. the bright side: a pretty good slugger.
posted by linda 10:01 PM